So drunk its hurt
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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