drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize