that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
