He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
