While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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