Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
