I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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