i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
