haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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