This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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