What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
