At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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