Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
