you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
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I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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