How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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