I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
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I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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