I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
