So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
