The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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