dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
