i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
