Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
