...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
