i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
