Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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