Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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