dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!