i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT