Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
