It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
