just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
