just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
