accomplished twins. life is a go
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
