My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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