i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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