Duck Duck Cougar?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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