forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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