did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize