Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
