That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude. I can hear the air.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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