I just saw a hot homeless man
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
