i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
