I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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