Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize