I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
