you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
