i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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