hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?