Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

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  (212): They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning. http://tfl.nu/4eyl
  Replies (3) Good night (1568) Bad night (621)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?

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  (704): What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present? http://tfl.nu/yubn
  Replies (26) Good night (4330) Bad night (1137)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand

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  (404): This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand http://tfl.nu/fsqo
  Replies (12) Good night (3195) Bad night (921)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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  (801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2
  Replies (10) Good night (1728) Bad night (798)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Did you reintroduce yourself?

  (407): View more from Florida

  He threatened to call the cops.

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  (407): When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house. (301): Did you reintroduce yourself? (407): He threatened to call the cops. http://tfl.nu/0bcc
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (2129)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (2228) Bad night (894)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (1261)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving

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  (641): and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/ilw7
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (586)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?

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  (612): At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game? http://tfl.nu/97sa
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (353)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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  (574): IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. (971): YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH. (574): NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. http://tfl.nu/j0cd
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (510)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.

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  (574): Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet. http://tfl.nu/biog
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (739)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night

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  (303): I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night http://tfl.nu/koj1
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (388)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

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  (646): He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body. http://tfl.nu/dbfa
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (342)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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  (402): I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside http://tfl.nu/9ftj
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (283)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian

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  (+44): I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/g2ut
  Replies (3) Good night (1055) Bad night (265)

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