Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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