did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
