She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
