Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
