Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
