where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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