She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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