I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
