I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just googled if crying burns calories
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
