it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
