The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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