We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
