so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
