and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
