I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
